Talking of dying.

In the car on the way back from dinner, Parker says:

"You are gonna die before me (talking to the girls), right mom?"

"Perhaps, but that is not gonna happen for a really long (insert 20 long's here) time, like over 100 years, so we don't need to think about it," I said.

Then Miranda says, "When I die in a really long (insert 20 long's here), I'm not gonna come back.
"
Then she adds, "When I die, we aren't going to be a family anymore." (Which I thought was incredibly deep and sad.)

So I say, "We'll always be a family no matter what."

Then Elizabeth says with tears coming down, "I don't want to die!"

At which point Michael ended the conversation.

Single parenting

Rachel has been on her girly spa weekend, so I've had the kids to myself for the last 48 hours or so. They've been delightful for the most part, and I think we've all had a good time.

I've discovered that the secret to harmonious family time is to make yourself completely available to the kids. If they want to play a game, say yes. If they want to tell you a long story with no point, listen to them. If they want you to watch them while they do something silly, just do it. Once you start saying no, or just a minute, that's when all hell tends to break loose. Interestingly, saying yes to your kids all the time doesn't mean that you're on your knees all day, playing with dolls. The kids actually just want to know that they can have your attention, but they don't actually want it non-stop. Which means as a parent you can get away with sitting on the couch reading a magazine, as long as you're ready to have 5 minutes or so of playtime several times an hour.

We just goofed off at home on Friday afternoon, and went to bed fairly early, since the kids were all pretty tired. On Saturday, I'd intended to skip naps and have an extended outing some place fun, but Parker was complaining about a stomache ache in the morning, and all of the kids claimed they wanted to play at home, so that's what we did. After naps, we went to the Play Place, which is extremely trashy, but which the kids love. The fun there was brought to a halt when some kid peed down the slide, not one of ours, thank god. After that, we went to Target to get some bubblebath, which seemed like just the thing. After a fine dinner of silver dollar french toast, and an extended bubblebath, the kids were down for the count by 7:15 or so.

Today, I wanted to run some errands, so I hustled them into clothes by 9am or so and hit the road. I've been wanting to buy Green Eggs and Ham, so we headed to the bookstore, where we spent about an hour or so, perusing the options. In addition to the Dr. Seuss, we also got a new Frog & Toad book, a new Harry the Dirty Dog book, and a copy of Chicka Chicka boom boom, to replace the one we have which is tattered. The kids seemed pretty pleased with these choices, although Miranda was highly agitated that she didn't get to get a stuffed animal just because she wanted one and she's cute.

After that we went to Home Depot to pick up a new air filter and some lightbulbs, and then to Office Depot to get a new color printer. I could have done both of those errands some other time, but it's nice to be an undaunted single father of three, and there's no better way to prove than to herd the kids through Home Depot. I considered also going to Ikea, but I figured I'd proved my point.

After lunch, and some play, I got the girls down for naps, and Parker upstairs for quiet time. I'm guessing Rachel will be home any minutes, and boy will the kids be happy to see here.

Bathtime

Blocks

Elizabeth has recently been building tall towers, while Miranda is always concerned that her little animals have a good place to live.

Halloween, the holiday that keeps on giving

TPS: Places

When there is a 4 in the ones place for the number of days of school on the wall chart*, it means it is my day to be the line leader.

When there is a 1 in the ones place, it is Jonah's day to do it.

(And then we went on to tell me all the other kids too. Since there are only 10 kids in the class, I knew he was right.)



*Every day they put the number on the wall in the classroom marking the number of day of school. Parker said two days ago that it was day 31, but only 30 was up there and he told them (the teachers) that they were missing a day, but they didn't listen.

TPS: The Sky

Parker: Mom, what is above the sky?

Me: Space

Parker: What is space?

Me: It's like where the moon, sun, and stars are.

Parker: What is above space?

Me: More space.

Parker: (silence)

Good Night Info

Lately, the kids have been pretending to be different people. Their teachers, characters on DVDs, babies and mommmies. It's all very cute and sweet especially when Miranda is the mommy and Elizabeth is the baby.

Last night after books and songs, I leaned over to say goodnight to Miranda and Elizabeth (Parker was already asleep) and said, "Good Night Miranda, I love you." Miranda say, "Hrmufff" and turned over.

Then I went to Elizabeth and said, "Good Night Elizabeth, I love you." Elizabeth said, while hugging me, "I love you too, but....I'm Dora."

TPS: Disneyland

Parker: Mom, what is Disneyland?

Me: An evil, evil place.

Parker: What?

Me: Just kidding. It's an amusement park for older kids. Your dad or Aunt Lori will take you there one day. Why do you ask?

Parker: I don't know.

Almost there...

Last year, Michael and I went to a 40th birthday party for one of his close friends (his witness at our wedding) in SF. Her hubby had rented out a small restaurant and invited all her close friends from around the world. Considering the number of people and type of restaurant, it could not have cheap. I wondered aloud what I would do for my 40th since I surely didn't have enough friends to pull something like that off.

Soon after I decided exactly what I wanted...a spa weekend with the gals. I checked with Michael re: the budget, checked with friends re: date, checked with cottages re: availability, and checked with spa re: treatments. It feels like months in the making...because it was. But now...it's just three days away. By Friday afternoon, me and 5 of my closest friends will be enjoying a relaxing, kid free, spa-tastic, weekend in Calistoga complete with pools, dinners, hot tubs, massages, sitting around, facials, body polishes and general hanging out. We are all quite excited. Some of us got new clothes. Some decided to shave our legs. Some have checked the weather forecast daily. And some are already packed.

We are all ready. Bring. It. On.

Bad case of the stripes

Yesterday, another mom at the preschool watched Parker for a bit before school since I had to head to the appointment for Miranda. She watched him at the park, then walked him over to school and then left with her own son who was in the earlier class. When she arrived to meet us at the park, Parker was playing in the fountain with a toddler. He was putting his hands in and making handprints and then putting his feet in. I told the other mom, he could put his feet in, but not stand up. I asked Parker if he was done with this before I left or did he want to continue and have her put his socks and shoes on? He opted for the latter. So when I went to pick him up and he was wearing rainbow stripes socks, I got confused. He explained that "that baby threw his own socks in the fountain and they got wet so he had to take some socks from that mom." He was pretty excited about the whole striped sock thing. He only has white socks (like me) so these new socks were quite a thrill. So thrilling that he slept in them and wanted to wear them again. I didn't allow that, but I did tell him we would get some stripes socks. He also said he wanted polka dots socks. So while the girls were in school and after some errands, we went to Kohls. I checked out the boy sock selection, but really nothing there but black and white. So we went over the girls side where they had a nice big choice of stripes and dotted socks. Parker picked out the ones he wanted (pink and purple ones with sparkles on them) and asked if he could wear them immediately. He put the polka dotted ones on and was quite proud. He showed all his teachers and other moms and sisters and random people on the street.

I wonder how long I can buy him girl socks without him noticing or caring.

Miranda and Me

Michael and I had an appointment yesterday with the Department of Psychiatry and Pediatric Behavorial Health at Kaiser in our attempt to understand Miranda's pooping issues. We had run out of medical options at Kaiser and our pediatrician suggested we go this route.

It was a very interesting conversation (although too long according to Michael). We talked a lot about Miranda's character traits and behaviors in other areas and I got some good information about how better to relate to her and engage with her. For example, when I asked everyone to get their shoes on and Parker goes and does it and Elizabeth goes and does it and Miranda continues talking to her bunny friends seemingly unaware that I exist, I'm suppose to, rather than rolling my eyes and getting annoyed that she is always behind, go up to her and say, "You seem to have better things to do like play with your animals and making up super interesting stories with them, so can I help you put your shoes on?" This will be hard for me to do, but I'm going try really hard.

In terms of her poop, she suggested we tell Miranda that she is "now in charge of her own body and her own poop and we aren't going to tell her when to go to the toilet or carry her to the toilet. But that if she needs help, she can ask for it and we will help her."

So I did and as I was telling her this during lunch she was looking at me, smiling and nodding. She was the most engaged in something I was saying that I can remember.

Then she went off to play. Ten minutes later she walked into the bathroom and sat with her doll for a while. I walked past and she was just sitting on the step stool talking to her baby. I didn't say anything and went back to sit down. Then five minutes later she started crying. I went in to ask her if she needed help (something the doc said was ok if she was crying) and she said yes. She said it hurt. She said she was scared. Then she pooped. I didn't congratulate her or talk about it anymore. We just wiped her up, put on some cream (at her request) and went on our way.

I find it hard to believe this was a coincidence (especially since she only poops every three days and this was day two) and for that reason alone, I am encouraged...a feeling I haven't felt in a long time with her.

Next to last

Last sips of water before bed are critically important to the kids. So it's no surprise that they would become interested in their next to last sips of water as well. Typically, we've had next to last sips while brushing teeth, and then last sips of water during books. We're big on ritual around here.

Now, normally I don't like to get my kids to do cute things. But for some reason a few months back I thought it would be pretty amusing to teach Parker that penultimate is another way to say next to last. And it turns out that he got a real kick out of it as well, once he figured out how to say it properly.

So it was great amusement that I listened in tonight as Parker taught both of the girls the meaning and proper pronunciation of penultimate. He thought it was pretty hilarious the way Elizabeth said pemulmimate. Me, too.

Weird patterns

Parker has a mosaic game with a variety of color-by-number sheets that he has been enjoying quite a bit lately. It's essentially a bunch of numbered squares, and magnetic foam cubes in the 12 colors used. You can see it in the post below. He has been spending a day or two to do one picture, although lately he's been cranking through them much faster.

The other day, he was deciding which picture he wanted to do, and he said to me, sort of offhand, "The girl with the jump rope has 36 nines, but the parrot has 39 sixes."

That's just the way his brain works.

Costumes are fun, November 1st edition

Halloween

Turned out pretty good this year. We waited until the last minute (today) to carve pumpkins and finish Parker's costume, but it all worked out well. The kids trick or treated on our block and that was enough for the girls. Parker and his pal Aidan (aka the Dragon) did a few more houses, but announced quickly they were done. They handed out candy to other kids for while, then ate too much of their own and crashed. Parker got lots of compliments on his costume even though some thought he was the tin man or a crayon. Compared with all the super heros and princesses, he was definitely an outlier. He also designed his own pumpkin face which turned out pretty damn funny (far right below).










Earlier in the day, I took the girls to a local business district where they closed off the street and all the merchants had candy for the kids. Eli and Miranda mostly seemed shocked, but got into the whole "stick out your bag for chocolate deal". Who wouldn't be really?

Sleep

I look forward to Thursday nights all week. Michael and I watch Project Runway and then Survivor. We also sometimes watch The Office and 30 Rock, but I usually record them and watch the next day as I have to get to sleep in order to get up for Boot Camp.

Last night, I only made it about 20 minutes in Project Runway before I fell asleep. I didn't feel tired all day but when I hit the couch, I was done. Michael woke me up and said, "You should go to bed." So I did and actually got 8 hours before getting up at 4:30. Amazing!

Michael on the other hands had two girls screaming for no reason at 2am. Fantastic.

Parker Lies Again

My ethical boy seems to have found something he likes: lying.

Yesterday he didn't eat much of his lunch at school. I asked him why not since he usually eats all of it. He said that Circle Time went really long and lunch was really short. Sounded plausible.

Today, he did it again but ate almost nothing. So I asked him again while we were still at school why he didn't eat his lunch. He thought for a moment and then said, "Mrs. Loey didn't let us have a long lunch again and I didn't have time to eat it."

So we went over to Mrs. Loey and I said, "Parker hasn't eaten his lunch two days in a row and he says the reason is because you have been doing long circle times and this is making lunch short."

She responds: "No that isn't the case, but some kids do like to socialize too much during the 30 minute lunch time and this keeps them from eating."

Parker then says, "Ryan and Charlie were making me laugh so much during lunch that I didn't have time to eat."

I found the whole thing pretty sweet actually. He's got friends that make him laugh. That's more important than lunch on some days I think.

The mother in all of us.

Miranda came over to me this morning with her baby under her shirt. She said, "This baby has her mouth on my boobie."

I said, "Why is she doing that?"

She said, "She is doing that because she is a baby and babies put their mouths on mommy's boobies."

I said, "But do you know whey put their mouths on their mommy's boobies?"

She said, "No."

So I explained.

Then she proudly said, "This baby is getting milk!" smiled and walked away.

TPS: One Duck Stuck

One of Parker's favorite books when he was 2 or so was One Duck Stuck. So I got it out of the library today for the girls. It's about a duck that gets stuck in the muck and all his swampy friends (snakes, crickets, frogs) try to help him out. It's a counting books, so it starts with 1 duck, 2 frogs, 3 whatever, etc. None of them can get him out, but then at the end they all work together to free him from the muck.

We read it at bedtime tonight but to keep it interesting for Parker, at the end I asked him, "So Parker, if all the animals helped him out, how many animals was that?"

Without pausing to do the first set of addition, he says, "Well, 55 plus 9 is 64 so 64 animals." I turned to Michael and said, "Is that right?" not being willing to add up 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10, but thinking it didn't sound right. I started to tell Parker he was wrong because there was only 1 duck and 1+2+3+...+10 equaled 55, but then he showed me the last page which shows all the animals helping him in a sort of montage of shots across the page and the duck is in each one. Parker assumed that they were different ducks (rather than the same duck in each frame) and added them all in as 9 (since there were only 9 other animals and hence 9 other duck pictured.) Got all that?

In any case, Parker was right, according to his view, so we went on to the next book where there was no counting, just silly George and Martha.