Roman numerals

Parker was reading Stuart Little to me tonight, and got tripped up by the roman numeral chapter numbers. So we paused to talk about roman numerals for a while, which I was surprised he didn't know. We looked at a few, and talked about the pattern, and he figured it out in time to predict what 11-14 should be.

Then I said, "An interesting thing about roman numerals is that there is no way to write zero."

Parker sat for a minute the way he does, where you don't know if he heard you. And then he said, "What about IIIIIV?"

Lemon Cake

Last week I made a chocolate cake for Miranda at her request. Elizabeth requested a lemon one, but upon Michael's advice, I made just one cake.

I made the lemon one today. I used an entire bag of lemons either for their juice or the rind/zest. The cake itself was a three layer cake but since I only had two pans, I had to bake one after the other two. The filling was a lemon curd, which I guess is just corn starch, sugar and egg yolk. Oh, and lemon. The frosting was a lemon cream cheese version. I've discovered when you make a cream cheese frosting you use an enormous amount of powered sugar. I barely used half of what was required and it was still crazy sweet.

The kids didn't like the curd, but really, it was the best part. Now we have 3/4 of a cake to eat. Darn.

I'm so proud, part two

Parker's love of The Flaming Lips has now intersected with his interest in piano, as I discovered this weekend. When I asked him how he figured out how to play this song, he said, "I just know a lot of notes."

Miranda's Choir Recital

Miranda's been in this little Piedmont choir group for a while, and they had a recital last week. It was all very charming, except for the instructor whom I loathed on sight, and whose voice and mannerisms made me want to flee her presence. But Miranda was thrilled, and it was nice that they got to sing, um, one of her favorite songs.

Self Portraits

One for Miranda. One for Elizabeth.

You find them.

More face painting

Apparently Michael did some face painting when I was away this weekend. Today they all wanted it again but with Mommy doing it. Miranda requested this animal face that I had rejected every other time she asked for it. Today I did it and was a hero.

Vegas Baby

I returned last night from a couple days in Las Vegas at the Balance Fitness Conference. It was a two plus day event at Planet Hollywood where fitness instructors go to learn new things, steal ideas from each other, and update their current routines. I went with Sara and Kym. Kym is the only actual fitness instrutor of the three of us, but since Sara and I lead stuff from time to time and since I'll probably try to pick up a class or two when the girls are in school more hours of the day, I figured, what the hell.

The flight was smooth, the hotel was nice and the conference was well-organized. In one day I took five classes: a spin class, BOSU workout, butt workout class called Booty Camp, a metabolic training workshop, and a yoga stretching class. They were all pretty good and I learned something in each one. Then at night, after we realized the pool and jacuzzi area were closed we went out to a nice dinner. And by nice, I mean expensive. But it was delicious (we were all starving since they dind't leave much time for breaks and eating at the conference) and we were all quite happy and full afterwards. Kym and Sara went out gambling, but I was pooped and my back hurt so I went back to the room and fell asleep. When they got in, I thought it was Miranda and Elizabeth coming to tell me they had nightmares.

The next day we had another spin class, a zumba class, a TRX class, and a bootcamp class of sorts (that I watched as my back was killing me at that point.) We decided to ditch the final class since it was another yoga stretching thing and had dinner together instead before Kym and I caught a plane back home.

It was a fun, but tiring weekend and we are going show what we learned to our bootcamp on Wednesday. If I can walk by then.

Waking up in Vegas. 16th floor.

Kym in our first spin class on Friday. It was a themed class to the music and plot of the movie 300. It was strange.

My bubbling lemon drop. Delish!

Happy, tired and soon to be tipsy gals.

Kym didn't know what Jimmy Choos were. Silly girl.

What I found on the couch today.

These dogs read crappy books.

Another Piedmont Meeting

I went to another Gifted Parents Support Club meeting last night despite the fact that I swore I would not go to any others. I went because some founding members were going to be speaking to how to advocate for your child. Although we've had a good experience thus far with Parker getting different math material than the other kids, we've heard that ends in middle school. The parents were nice enough, but didn't have anything really informative to tell us. Other parents of kids in elementary school kept saying that I was having a unique experience and that their teachers were not doing much for their kids. When I asked if they had spoken to their teachers about it, they said, "Well....no...not yet."

I stayed for the board meeting part of the evening because they were going to talk about how to spend some of the money the club had and I was hoping they would give some to Parker's math enrichment teacher since his teacher said it would end in April. Unfortunately, they weren't prepared to spend any money on 1st grade since the money had to go to GATE specific programs and GATE officially starts in 4th grade. But I did ask some questions of the group about their financials (they weren't recording dues and donations properly but didn't seem to care.). They spent a lot of time discussing a minor issue on the minutes and then discussing the money issue without sufficient backup information to actually make a decision.

It was strange that a group of parents of gifted kids were so lame.

Music Appreciation

Parker went to the symphony the other day with school. I had the chance to drive on that fieldtrip but thought that taking a bunch of 7 year olds to the symphony would be horrible. Boy, was I wrong. Parker came back entranced. It was a program specifically for elementary kids and had some popular tunes like the Can Can, Carmen, something from west side story and a few others. He really liked it and asked to have the "songs" put on his ipod. We found one for him about a musical clock by Kodaly and he listens to it all the time now. He hangs out in his room with his headphones on listening to classical music. Oh boy.

Miranda's fake bad mood and its aftermath

Blokus

Parker wasn't feeling well today but since he couldn't really say what was wrong and I had a feeling he just wanted to watch tv all day like he did last thursday when he had a fever, I took him to school. About 5 minutes after getting home with girls, I got a call to come pick him up.

Miranda wasn't feeling well either so we all just hung out. I cleaned up a bit and got ride of some clothes that didn't fit, the kids ate more cake from yesterday and then we all played some board games. It was a relatively pleasant afternoon.

Wet Hot American Summer

Last night Michael and I went to SF to see a radio play reading of the movie Wet Hot American Summer. We had never heard of the movie but it had Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, Michael Ian Black, Molly Shannon and tons of other stars in it. It was part of the San Francisco Sketch Fest, a comedy/inprov festival going on during January. By the time I heard about it, there were no seats together so we sat in the balcony, but in different rows.

It was a great show. No one was dressed up and they were all holding the scripts and goofing off. Paul Rudd had a huge grin on his face the whole time and you can tell they all had a blast doing it. It started early and was over quick so we met Susan and Roy back in Oakland for dinner.

Here is the only picture I snuck of the show. Can't see a damn thing, but Paul Rudd is up there somewhere.

More chocolate cake

Chocolate cake

Ballet

The girls had their first ballet class at the piedmont ballet academy today. I only watched for a few minutes but they seemed like they had a good time. The teacher complimented their buns. Elizabeth appeared to have better form then any of the other kids. Surprise. Surprise.

Twins

It's a small miracle Parker is wearing pants and long sleeve shirt. I demanded it as it's raining and they are going to the symphony for a field trip today.

Chess

I'm really bad at chess. Being bad has it's advantages. I don't get annoyed when Parker makes a lame move because, with a few exceptions, I don't notice. Games also tend to be short since both of us leave our kings exposed often.

Sammy

Sammy, of Sammy and Charlie, twins a month younger than the girls, came over today. Monika's, the mom, has been a friend since we met at twin support group and she's a regular blog reader. We met weekly back when they were all toddlers, but the kids don't get a chance to hang out too much these days. Today, it just worked out.

Almost immediately, she and Miranda started in on some imaginary animal game and it continued that way for most of the visit. They stopped for snacks and Sammy and I played a quick game of chess with Parker, but most of the time she and Miranda either together or right next to each other were making up stories and activities of their pretend siblings and animals.

Elizabeth wasn't feeling well and curled up on the couch and promptly fell asleep. The girls kept playing right in front of her. They were very quiet and at one point I went over to see what they were doing and here is what I found.



I asked them what they were doing and they said the unicorn was sick and they were helping it feel better. Jesus. What's next? Leeches?

Sammy calls Monika, Monika instead of Mom or Mommy or Mama. I started doing it too. "Sammy, would Monika let you have a corn muffin without eating your lunch?" "Yes, Monika would! Definitely."

It was a good playdate (good being defined as both kids seemed to have fun and I didn't have to get too involved..except the face painting which I'll pretty much do anytime these days.)

Top Five Hardest Parenting Moments...So Far

5. Realizing Parker was not typical.

I guess we've always sort of known it, but figuring out what to do about it, if anything, has been challenging at times.

4. Not really getting Miranda.

Miranda is an odd kid. She always has been. If she were my only daughter, I'd probably think the same thing. But in comparison to Elizabeth, (and it's hard not to compare, let's be honest), who is very similar to me, it's difficult to really understand Miranda and how she works. It's still a struggle for me, but I'm glad we've bonded over movies.

3. Letting Elizabeth stop gymnastics.

I kept saying I didn't care if Elizabeth did gymnastics or not, but the decision to let her stop has been so emotional, I suppose I did actually care. I don't think of myself as a stage mom or gym mom or whatever it is called, pushing their kid into things or even perhaps trying to relive my youth through her. I just find it so sad that she is so good at it and doesn't want to do it. I know she'll be good at a million things, but this is the first thing she has been good at and not wanted to do. Wonder how my mom felt when I, who wasn't even very good, quit ballet...

2. A tie! Living without sleep when girls were born and breast feeding for first few weeks.

Sleep deprivation sucks. You think you are ok, but you are not and you don't even know it at the time. Only later can you look back and realize, wow, I was a crazy person back then. Breast feeding was painful and tedious and it sucked the life out of me. I'm glad I did it, but man, did I hate it.

1. Giving birth to Parker.

That was the scariest, most painful experience of my life. As Lori and Louise know, I was not a happy camper. The joy of natural labor with the recovery of a c-section. I figure I can do anything if I did that.

Blast from the past

We've been watching old videos with the kids, which they can't seem to get enough of. But I've been surprised by how surprised I've been by some of them. Here's Parker playing with his numbers about a few months before his third birthday. At the time I knew this was not typical, but with the benefit of having spent a whole lot of time with other three year olds since then, I'm saying that Parker was one freaky little dude. And my god, look at those cheeks!

TPS: Who's smarter?

Parker: Mom is 999,999,999,999 a number?

Me: Yes, Why?

Parker: Because at the party today we were making up really big numbers for how old Jack is turning and I said, "He's turning 999 billion, 999 million, 999 thousand, nine hundred and ninty nine. And then Owen and Miles said that isn't a number. I told them it was and they said it wasn't. Then Jack told them that I do 3rd grade math. So then Miles said he was better at math than me and did multiplication and Owen said he was smarter than me at math and did division. So I said I did exponents and then no one said anything."

Me: Parker, are any of those kids in your special math group with the 2nd graders?

Parker: No.

Me: Then, do you think they know more math than you?

Parker: No.

Me: You aren't going to meet a lot of kids your age that are better at math than you, but that doesn't mean it's ok to talk about who is smarter or who is not. You can just BE smarter without talking about it and if another kid tells you he is smarter, you can just KNOW that he is wrong without telling him and making him feel bad."

Parker: But they made me feel bad when THEY said they were smarter.

Me: But you are actually smarter, so who cares what they think?

Parker: But they started it.

Me: So you should have ended it.

QED

Botars

Miranda Sings Everything

Miranda is still pretty much singing everything that she says as if she is living in a musical. A few minutes ago, she ran over and sang, "Mommy! I am thirsty and would like a drink"and then did a little box step, ending with a big smile and a variation of jazz hands.

I'm taking her to 3D Beauty and the Beast today which I'm sure will only make the situation worse.

MLK

Miranda just said,

"I'm on Dr. Kings side. If I think the laws are bad, I'm gonna change them."

There was also some talk about a bus and some lady who wanted to sit down.


Guess we did some learning in school today.

Here we go...

I went to this Piedmont fundraising meeting last night. And when I say fundraising meeting, I mean black tie cocktail party. I "dressed up" by brushing my hair, applying lipstick and putting on pants so when I showed up and everyone was wearing little black dresses and high heels drinking from champagne glasses in a kitchen that was the size of our entire bottom floor, I was a bit concerned.

Luckily, most of these women were on the steering committee (ie the hosts) and the event that we are putting on has a Gatspy theme so they were going with it. When other started to arrive (after the 7pm start time which was when I arrived...damn my punctuality), they looked a bit more like me. Not like me, but I didn't stick out as much. At least I had blonde hair which appeared to be a prerequisite.

We all schmoozed for a while until they called the meeting to order where nothing much was said. I mostly stood by myself in a room of about 35 women all chatting like chickens, but a couple others wearing less than glamorous outfits did come over to talk with me.

I was impressed with the organization of the party, the snacks they had and the handouts (that they had them not what was on them), but the entire meeting was unnecessary. I smiled and nodded and kept my mouth shut when other women asked questions about topics that were just answered.

The whole thing was just an excuse to drink and be fancy...two of my favorite things. I guess we are not in Kansas anymore.

Parker's In Class Assignment

About Weather

What I know:

rain comes from clouds.
tornados could distroy a whole city

What I learned:

Snow can turn into a snowstorm.
rain gives us water to drink

What I want to know:

How is weather created?
How do phones know the weather?

Screaming at Kaiser

Parker has some strange bumps on his legs so we took him into the doctor this afternoon. They weren't sure what they were but gave him some antibiotics.

On our way, I knew we had about 15 minutes before the meds were ready and there was no line at the flu clinic so I said, "Let's get flu shots." Parker said, "Yay! I love shots!" and Miranda immediately started screaming "I Don't Wanna Get A Shot!" over and over again and refused to come in the room. She was hysterical. I finally calmed her down and we went in. Parker went first. No problem. I went next and then Miranda literally tried to run out of the room. I just grabbed her and held her down as she screamed and screamed. "I don't wanna get a shot!!!!!" It was hilarious to me.

Then it was over and her crying stopped. When we left through the waiting room, all these parents (and kids) were staring at her. I just kept laughing.

Back at home I said, "That sure was a lot of crying and screaming at the doctor." She said, "Well...I thought it was gonna hurt and I was scared. But, it didn't really."

Decided

We're gonna let Elizabeth stop gymnastics. I personally don't think she'll ever start again, but I could be wrong. She and I had a good conversation about it last night and it was the first time I could really "hear" her when she said she wasn't interested in it anymore.

Michael and I both think it's a shame because of her talent, but also think she has the whole world at her disposal and will find something else she is good at and likes.

I just hope it's not ballet.

Stuart Little

Parker is reading Stuart Little now for school. Each day, his teacher puts a new book in his bookbag and he has to read for 15 minutes. For most kids, they get a short easy to read book of about 10 pages. But for Parker and 3 other kids, they get real books and just read as much as they can in 15 minutes.

Stuart little is the hardest one he's had so far and after just looking it up, I see why. It's listed as book for grade level 3.9. I think it's good that he is being challenged and it's a bit hard for him, but he's having a different kind of trouble with it than I imagined.

He can't remember what happened after just reading it. Like this morning he read a paragraph about Stuart pulling on the cord of a shade and getting wrapped up in the shade itself. He literally couldn't tell me what he had just read immediately after reading it. I made him read it 4 times and only on the last time could he tell me.

What is that about? Does he just not understand the vocabulary (shade, cord?) He hasn't seen one of the shades that the book is talking about so maybe.... Or is he not paying attention, just saying the words? Or is his spaciness now overflowing into reading comprehension? This is a kid that can remember what he did 4 years ago and what street he drove on 8 months ago and what mommy said about a specific thing days ago, but he can't remember what he just read? I find it all very strange.

I'm so proud.

Parker discovered the Flaming Lips on his iPod. He's had his headphones on for the last 30 minutes, dancing around the house like a maniac to Yoshimi battles the Pink Robots.

Chess

For the longest time, Michael and I have been hesitant to teach Parker chess. It seemed like one of those things that he might start obsessing over and lose all sight of everything else. As one parent recently said to me, 'There are worse things to obsess over than Chess," but he hasn't seen Parker obsess and we have.

But many of his good friends are now playing it and his cousins played in here so we bit the bullet and Michael taught him yesterday. He learned the rules quickly but he's quite bad at it which made us happy. I suck at chess too so at least we are evenly matched.

I signed him up for a class at school offered by Berkeley Chess Club so we'll see how that goes.

Decisions, Decisions.

Elizabeth is saying she doesn't want to do gymnastics anymore. She doesn't complain about going, but when she is there she tells the coach, "I can't do that" when it is stuff she can do and could do 6 months ago. I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do. On one hand, there is no reason to make the kid go to gymnastics anymore. On the other hand, what a shame to quit when she is obviously so good and so suited for it.

She has said she wants to do Ballet so she can be on stage. These are both interesting to me since she didn't like ballet before when she took the class with Miranda and she is incredibly shy about performing. I reminded her of both and she said she still wanted to do it. In fact, she wanted to do in instead of gymnastics. I told her ballet was hard. She asked if it was still hard after you go on stage and I said, "Harder."

So I looked up the ballet studio in Piemont which is literally across the street and signed them both up (Miranda had been asking too about it) for the next session on Saturday mornings. I was happy to hear it's a fairly serious studio and the girls have to have their hair up in buns with only pink leotards (no skirts, black, costumes, etc). I think this seriousness will not be liked and they will not want to do it again which would be great. There is a recital at a local community college at the end of the session. The director seemed nice and said if the girls were exceptional they would be referred to professional ballet school like SF Ballet and I told her I didn't think this would be an issue. (Neither of them appear to have any gift for ballet.) She added that they cater to kids in piedmont and understand missing classes for soccer games or other such things.

The first class is before I have to decide about paying for the next session so I'm hoping she hates it and decides to skip with gymnastics, but I don't think that will happen.

Here they are in their new ballet clothes and buns.

Oy.

Totally Not Worth It

Parker has been asking for an air hockey table for a while now. Whenever he goes to Ebba's he plays and loved it. I wasn't against getting a table, but wanted to get in the habit of not buying everything Parker says he wants. I told him he could save up for it. So he started saving. He gets an allowance of $1 each week and can earn extra money by doing chores (like picking up apples in back yard, taking out recycling, unloading dishwasher and this week, doing laundry). He saved up $25 (as I had seen a kids size one on Craigslist for $25 a couple months ago) and I took a look on CL again to see what I could find. I found two for $20, one in SJ and one in Belmont. I checked out what it would cost new for a similar one and it was $70. So I figured even with gas, I was still ahead going to Belmont to get one. And I was glad to be buying something used with only the money he earned.

So I drove there today, picked it up, stopped for a coffee and then was driving home. I wasn't in a rush as I had no where to be. Then I got pulled over just after crossing the San Mateo Bridge. Apparently he clocked me at 83 and 87 miles per hour. I'm usually quite good at seeing cops, but today I had no clue. I had no clue there was a cop on the side of the road and no clue I was going that speed. Only when there were lights in my mirror did I clue in. The cop was nice and wrote the ticket up for "80+" so that I could go to traffic school (I guess 86 was the cut off.) I told him it was my first speeding ticket my whole life. He said, "That's a pretty good record." Joy.

So my $20 used kids air hockey table that I felt all warm and fuzzy about will cost me hundreds of dollars in ticket fees, traffic school and increased insurance. Talk about your warm and fuzzy.

Letters

For a long time now, Michael and I have joked about writing letters when something upsets us. As in, "I'm going to write the city of berkeley a letter because the traffic lights are not timed well!" or "I'm going to write a letter to the producers of that movie because Mira Sorvino was not naked enough of the time!" I'm not sure how it started, but it's one of our long standing jokes and always gets a good laugh.

So when we had yet another bad service experience at our favorite sushi restaurant and I said I was going to write a letter, we had a good chuckle.

But then I did. I wrote a letter! I told the owners (who I recognized at the restaurant but didn't know their names so I looked them up on the internets) that we love their sushi, but the service had really gone down hill in the last year. I told them we had been coming there for over 10 years and we didn't want to stop, but that it was quite frustrating. I gave examples of things that happened (dinners forgotten, ignored for 15 minutes, unable to pay bill, missed sushi) but kept it all very nice.

I sent it Tuesday afternoon. Yesterday evening, the door bell rang. It was the owner of the restaurant. She came to apologize and explain about the new servers and to give us a gift certificate for us to use. She was so incredibly nice it was crazy. I hadn't left my phone number or address, but I guess I did write it on the envelope. I was shocked and quite pleased.

There is bound to be more letter writing in my future now...

Fucking Pasta Pot

As you can imagine, we make a lot of pasta at our house. Several times a week. So I thought one of the pasta pots where you just pull out the strainer (rather than dumping out the water and pasta) would make my life easier. I told Michael about this and he got me one for my bday. The first time I used it I realized just how much water you have to put in those things. The strainer isn't close to the bottom of the bottom pot so there is lots of water below the strainer doing nothing. And you have to fill the strainer up to the top to get enough water to actually cover the pasta.

For the reasons noted above, I haven't used it much, but I did the other day when my sister was here since six kids would be eating the pasta, we needed alot. As I was taking out the strainer with all the pasta in it, I realized I didn't have any bowls. So I reached for one, but bobbled the strainer and some boiling hot water splashed on my face and right arm. I was so surprised by this that I immediately got some ice for my face thinking my arm was protected by my clothing. Well... as it turns out, my face was fine. My arm is now bubbled over and peeling and red from the burn that went through a long sleeve shirt.

Good Times.

question from elizabeth

Eli: Is that the real Mrs. Hannigan singing now?

Me: What do you mean, the real Mrs. Hannigan?

Eli: You know, is it her or just someone dressed up like her?

Me: Mrs. Hannigan is a made up character in the musical story Annie. She isn't real. She doesn't exist. Everyone is just pretending to be her.

Eli: Oh. I knew that. I just meant is it the one from the movie? You know, the real one?

The sneak team

The sneak team is pretty big around our house these days. It's a made up team that Parker created. I'm not entirely sure what happens when you actually get on the sneak team, but I do know there is a test to get on it. At first, Parker and Eli wouldn't let Miranda on the team because she wouldn't take the test. But when I asked them if they had taken the test, they said no. The test involved one person standing in the middle of the living room turning around slowly while the testee starts trying to cross the living room without being seen.

The whole thing sounds completely idiotic to me, but they love it and their friends seem to be really into it. So far, there are 8 members of the sneak team...my kids, sebastian, fletcher, the neighbor Marcus, Jack ZN and Aidan.

Now Parker wants to have sneak team get togethers, but since I can't imagine what they will do together or that Jack ZN will actually play with Sebastian or Fletcher, I'm not going to worry about that too much.

The worst trip you've ever taken

Rachel suggested that our trip to Hawaii was worse than our trip to Maui, but I disagree. The Mexico trip was way worse.

Our trip to Maui was less than ideal for many of the reasons that Rachel mentioned, but with the exception of wanting to strangle the kids any time we went in the car anywhere, I think I was able throughout the trip to remind myself that only an asshole complains about a trip to Hawaii, and even with the rain, and the wind, and the other less than ideal aspects, it was still better than all sorts of other places we could have found ourselves. Once you recover from losing the fantasy trip, you can generally make the best of any situation, especially when it's beachfront on Maui.

This is a philosophy I could have used in Mexico in 2006, when I was suffering hard from my preconceptions of the perfect vacation. In early 2006 we got the use of a friend's timeshare in Cabo San Lucas, so we took ourselves a nice family vacation. The place was a resort with poolside umbrella drinks and all the amenities, and I was very much looking forward to sitting by the pool with a series of drinks in my mind, occasionally going for a picturesque swim with lovely wife and my adorable toddler son.

Sounded good on paper. The reality was quite a bit different, however, with the trip diverging from my fantasy in a few key ways:

1. Traveling with a toddler is completely exhausting. I don't know why I was naive on this point, but I was expecting way more idle time and book reading than was even remotely feasible, unless you count very hungry catarpillar. Which I don't. Parker has always been single-minded, even as a toddler, and I must have read that book several hundred times to him during that trip.



2. Rachel was 7 weeks pregnant with the twins, and the plane ride down is when her morning sickness started. She'd had a very rough pregnancy with Parker, including 7 months of morning sickness that began on a vacation, and we both saw this appearance of nausea as the cold hand of doom. We both wanted to believe that this time it would be different, but of course it wasn't different, it was the same nausea for 7 long months. And it began in Mexico, and didn't stop until September 19th.



3. The beach at the resort sucked. I'd wanted to move from the pool to the waves, but our resort was on the wrong side of Cabo, so the beach was a hundred yards of windy sand in front of water too dangerous to swim in.

4. Parker didn't sleep well on this trip, so we spent huge amounts of time each night trying to console him, or at least get him to be quiet. I don't recall what his problem was, but it was all very stressful, and left all of us sleep deprived.

5. Mexico smells funny. I'd forgotten about this in my fantasies, but once I got off the plane I remembered. Peeyew.

So while I'd been enjoying the idea of lounging in paradise, the reality fell far short of that. Instead of idling my days away in the sun, I spent the trip alternately entertaining an insatiable Parker and holding Rachel's hair while she puked. It was maddening to be in what looked like absolute paradise, but to be able to really enjoy so little of it.

The day before we left, Parker cut his head on the metal frame of the shower door, which caused a high degree of screaming and a scar that's next to his eyebrow to this day. This was emblematic of the trip itself - looks pretty, but an unpleasant actual experience.



After several days of this, Rachel and I were both exhausted, depressed, and miserable, so we ended up paying to change our tickets and leaving early.

So Maui was less than ideal. It's a bummer to be in paradise in the rain, but Rachel wasn't sick, and my kids were reasonably self-sufficient, and I wasn't in mexico, so I counted my blessing and had another mai tai.