My afternoon

After a relatively low key valentine day 'party' at the girls' nursery school, I was happy to come home to lunch to some quiet time. I knew the girls would be occupied with their silly cards and was happy to sit on the couch and veg out.

So when I got a call (while still in the driveway unloading) from Parker's teacher telling me the the ants that have taken over her classroom had attacked the homemade cupcakes another parent brought in for the party that afternoon and could I please bring in more cupcakes, I was a bit distressed to say the least. I played it cool and drove over to safeway, got more cupcakes then anyone could ever want and went back home. Mind you, I had already prepped 3 valentine day games for the kids since no other parents stepped up. The girls went upstairs and I decided that if I was playing super mom that day, I would take it a step farther. Our garbage disposal was broken (it broke the other day when some measuring spoon got stuck in there and I didn't notice). So I did some google searches, watched two 'fix it' you tube videos, found for some tools and a flashlight and gave it a go. After only a few tries, I wedged out the metal part of the measuring spoon that was invisibly stuck in it. Success!

Feeling good, I piled the girls in the car again and went to Parker's school his celebration. We made it to the classroom without dropping any cupcakes and I helped the kids pass out their cards. Many of them can't read and don't know the names on the cards so the adults helped them. Then...Ronan, a friend of Parker's, had a massive diarrhea accident. So big that it went down his pants onto the floor. The teacher and other parents just stood there. All the kids are laughing at him and pointing and everyone is just standing there. I remember that I had Parker's gymnastics clothes in my car and I would go get them. I tell the teacher and start to leave, but I can't leave the poor kids there standing in his own filth so I tell him to come with me which was a damn good thing because in the hallway he told me "he always has extra pants and undies in his backpack." I take him to the bathroom where I find diarrhea everywhere. It was disgusting. I felt for this poor kid, but I felt for me too. It even got on his shoes. It took me a while to clean him up, but we got there.

Back to the party where the kids were still passing out cards (putting them in bags on the other kids' desks) which they had been doing for the last 20 minutes (this detail will be needed later so remember it.) The parent that brought the fruit cups (even though he was asked to bring cut up fruit), didn't bring spoons so the kids started in on their cupcake (the only other food there despite 6 parents having signed up to bring snacks and drinks).

After a while, I started with the games. We did a guessing the number of kisses in the jar game, a hide the heart game and a match the broken heart game. All brought and facilitated by me. Prizes were handed out and the kids (except for the ones who stole each other's candy and then hit each other to show their displeasure) had a good time.

Then, a kid comes up to me telling me he didn't pass out his cards. He hands me a stack of blank (no "To" and no "from") and in fact not even separated from the other cards. And when I say cards, I mean the cheap, store-bought, superhero branded, slips of paper. I asked him why and he didn't say anything. He wanted me to hand them out. I told him I would hold onto them, but the kids were all putting stuff away and getting ready to leave. He seemed fine with that. I then told the teacher who shrugged and agreed with me that there was nothing to do about it now.

Then his dad comes in. He's a nice guy as far as I knew so I go up to him and say, "Just so you know, Emiliano didn't pass out his cards and gave them to me 5 minutes ago. I asked him there were no names on them (from or to) but he didn't answer." The father immediately freaks out and starts yelling at me, the teacher and his kid. But mostly me. He says, "WHO DO I HAVE TO YELL AT ABOUT THIS! I SPENT MONEY ON THOSE CARDS AND MY SON WANTED TO PASS THEM OUT!!!!" I told him that they had about 20-30 minutes to pass out the cards and I didn't know why he didn't do it. I also said I didn't know why he was yelling at me. He continues on and on and I go get the cards to give to him. When he gets them he says, "WHERE ARE THE REST!???!" I tell him that that was all his son gave me. He then yells at his son who tells him he did pass some out to a couple kids. The dad turns to me and says, "OH SO HE DID PASS THEM OUT! NOT WHAT YOU SAID!!!!" I replied that I only told him what the kid told me when he handed me the cards 5 minutes ago. After a couple more minutes, he says, "WELL, YOU CAUSED A LOT OF UNDUE STRESS BECAUSE YOU MIS INFORMED ME ABOUT THE SITUATION!"

Can you fucking believe all that? I was going to help clean up, but I got my stuff and left the room. I wanted to go back in there to tell him to go to hell, but the kids were there and I thought he might punch me. Two other moms apologized to me for him and the teacher who was there the whole time, thanked me. I wasn't sure if she was thanking me for the cupcakes, the games, the diarrhea duty, or dealing with this dad, but none of it mattered. That asshole left me scattered and anxious.

Happy fucking valentines day.