Trusting Toddlers

A while back my mom gave me a book called Trusting Toddlers. It's a book about planning for toddlers in a child care center, but it had enough general stuff in there, she thought it might be good reading for when Parker was younger.

I picked it up again last night and re-read some of it in light of the charming, but sometimes evil girls we now have living in our home. One thing I read talked about not making the kids say "I'm sorry" and give a kiss or a hug when they do something bad to another kid. Since I do this all the time, I read this section carefully. It says "a toddler who has either willfully (elizabeth) or accidentally (parker) hurt someone else will not readily appreciate the pain caused...insisting on an apology, hug and kiss is asking for empty words and actions. These social courtesies should be learned by modeling and should be based on sincere feelings." It goes on to say, "a child that has learned to say Sorry without feeling can use it to a great advantage. A loud Sorry and a noisy kiss can absolve a child from feelings of responsibility for what has been done and....can be viewed by the child as the go ahead to keep doing it..."

So last night, Michael and I agreed to not do that anymore.

Today, Elizabeth shoved Miranda pretty hard for no apparent reason and seemingly on purpose. I gave her a quick 1 minute time out, but did not follow up with the obligatory apology. I hoped that the many, many, many times this had happened in the past would help her remember to go say sorry on her own. But she didn't. She happily starting playing when her one minute time out was over.

Ah well.